So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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