Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
