Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
