i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
farters have to be the big spoon...
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
