I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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