just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
third nipple confirmed
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
