Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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