ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
