So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Randomize
