she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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