I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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