I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
