I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Randomize
