hell yes lets make some ravioli
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
