oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
