Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Randomize
