Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
We have so much sex to catch up on
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
