dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
