Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
