I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
