i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
