My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
He did a backflip because drugs
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
