I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
