last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
