Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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