Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
