a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Randomize
