Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
