whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
