Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
