Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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