Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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