i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
