Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
