Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i think i have two assholes
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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