Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
they're like a gay fantastic four
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
