I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
