meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
May the power of my ass compel you!!
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
