halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
