Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
