Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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