Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize
