I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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