You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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