those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
