how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
