Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
