I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
