just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
