this beer tastes like vomit already
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Randomize
