There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
