I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Randomize
